A mother is a terrible thing to waste. To all adult children who point to their mother as the focal point of their life’s misfortunes, this is a Mother’s Day wake-up call.
Millions of adult children spend millions of dollars on the therapists couch, reviewing and ruminating about everything their mother did or didn’t do, does or doesn’t do. These adults, many with children of their own, don’t see themselves as the imperfect human their own mother is.
If Mom is still alive, they dread spending time with her or remove themselves from her life altogether. If she’s already gone, they may feel relieved that they don’t have to put up with her anymore.
I think that mother blaming should have, like meat, produce and dairy products, an expiration date. The mother who didn’t measure up to demands or expectations earlier may not be able to do it now. She’s caught in her own circle of pain for things she may or may not know she did, or if she knows, she may not know how to forgive herself.
Call your Mom on Mother’s Day, no matter how long it’s been since you’ve spoken with her. Tell her that you’d once again like to share your life with her. Tell her you’ve learned some things, grown a lot, and want to reconnect. The thing about a mother’s heart is that it’s infinitely elastic when it comes to love.
It’s the 40/70 rule. If you’re 40 and your Mom is 70, it’s time to mend two broken hearts.
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