Warren Buffett Does it Again

I admire Warren Buffett, not because of his wealth, but because of his common sense, decency, lack of pretension and sense of fairness. In an piece for the NYTimes, he writes that he believes he and other rich people should be taxed at a higher rate. http://tinyurl.com/cpdgrwx

He also never believed that giving money to his children equates with giving them love. He wanted them to carve out their own path and believed that "setting them up with unlimited wealth is harmful and an anti-social act."

His decision to donate nearly $37 billion to the Gates Foundation may have shocked the world, but it came as no surprise to his three children, whom he had consulted first.

"The truth is it would be insane to leave us that much money," said Susan Buffett. "It just would be."

Buffett gave $1 billion to his children's three charitable foundations: the Susan A. Buffett Foundation, which focuses on early education for children of low-income families; the Howard G. Buffett Foundation, which has helped 42 countries; and the Novo Foundation, Peter Buffett's organization for democracy. They each draw a salary from their work.

The Buffett kids grew up in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house in Omaha Nebraska. They attended local elementary and high schools . Their friends were neighborhood kids who actually played without needing play dates or being chauffered from house to house. The Buffett kids grew up without pretension; money wasn’t the way they measured their parents’ love.

Each Buffett sibling received a letter from their father in which he wrote: "I consider myself lucky to have three children who want to spend much of their time and energy working on projects that will benefit others. I am proud of what you are doing and your mother would be proud as well. Love, Dad."

I like this man, in spite of his wealth.

Best Intentions Beyond Mom's Control

I met a mother with a beautiful, calm six-month-old baby who smiled and cooed during the three hours we spent together. I commented about her baby's temperament and was surprised when she answered "When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to cut out as much stress as I could from my life." Would that we all could be so lucky.

A cover story of  Time Magazine describes a growing area of scientific research called fetal origins, the study of the environment inside the womb before a baby is born. http://tinyurl.com/c7e2mw7

Scientists see evidence that genetics is only part of the equation. Intrauterine factors such as the mother's stress level, nutrition, emotions and physical environment contribute as much to her baby's life-long temperament and health as its DNA.

I suspect that, as the science of fetal origins unfolds, we will have a new wave of mothers blaming themselves for things beyond their control. Eating right, keeping their weight in check, and not drinking or smoking won't do it. They will also have to think good thoughts, lest negative emotions produce chemical substances that can harm the fetus. What a huge responsibility!

On the other hand, it could be liberating to think that the best parental intentions after birth compete with what is beyond the mother's control.

The Wisdom of Skeptics

 For people who think they know it all, are certain they are right, who have no room for doubt about their beliefs, who blindly follow experts, gurus, leaders (self-appointed or not) or cede rational thinking in the service of expediency, this article by Michael Schermer, editor of Skeptic magazine might cast a little light into your world.

http://www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/12-10-24/#feature

The Business Side of Marriage

 If you have a business partner, you expect to share information about your business. However, most of us don’t think of our marriage as a business although it has an eerily similar structure minus, of course, the love, romance and illusion of living happily ever after.

Consider that a business has income, expenses, assets, liabilities, taxes and net worth.So does a marriage. That’s why marriages need financial intimacy.We don’t start a business or go into marriage expecting that it might fail. But both fail at alarmingly high rates, albeit for different reasons.

It’s counter intuitive to think about widowhood or divorce when you’re getting married. Few women do. But I’ve written over the years that letting one partner manage all the money sets the other partner up for financial vulnerability. Too often, the partner with her head in the sand is the woman.

Being in love often makes rational thinking difficult. We women who love and trust our partners make certain romantic assumptions. For example, we assume our mate is making financial choices that will benefit us both. Sometimes he is; sometimes he isn’t. Sometimes he assumes we don’t want to be involved. Other times, he doesn’t want us to be involved.

Here’s the bottom line: In the nine community property states ,husband and wife share responsibility for financial decisions.

Do I understand what my partner is doing financially?

Do we regularly discuss our finances together?
How would I manage if I were widowed or divorced?

Do I sign documents without understanding them?

Do I know the location of all our financial records?

These five questions will give you a head start on practicing financially safe marriage.

Who Decides What Is Right for You?

Guest Blog

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Commentary invited by editors of Scientific American

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Molecules to Medicine: When Religion Collides with Medical Care: Who Decides What Is Right for You?

The recent presidential candidate debates, fights over insurance coverage for contraceptives, and the Virginia and Texas legislatures’ imposition of intrusive, unnecessary ultrasounds prior to any abortions are highlighting the fundamental issue of the role of religion in health care and the separation of Church and State. While the emphasis has been on reproductive care, the imposition of religious beliefs on access to medical care is far more wide reaching in its deleterious effect on the ability of people to choose their care and have their medical needs met.

Since I first started medical school, two principles were inculcated in me as foundations of medicine. First was the importance of searching for—and following—evidence in medicine, and the large human cost of not doing so. Second was our promise to the public, via the Hippocratic oath and centuries of precedent, to put patients’ needs first, above our own.

Read more:http://tinyurl.com/6lqqwgb

 

Children and Grandchildren Not Entitled to Inheritance

In her will, Leona Helmsley, NY hotel magnate, left $12 million dollars for the care of her dog. She left nothing to two of her four grandchildren, saying ‘the reasons are known to them’.

Even though Helmsley was a philanthropist, bequeathing millions of dollars to charitable organizations, she took a stand when it came to rewarding behavior she didn’t like. Her thinking may have been simple:  “My dog loves me, is good to me, I feel appreciated and loved. Two of my grandchildren treat me badly. They don’t deserve anything. I’ll leave money for the other two.”

There is no law requiring parents to leave their children or grandchildren an inheritance. Blood lines don’t apply in the U.S. or England, the only two countries that practice the legal concept of  ‘testamentary freedom’  – the right to designate who will inherit their estate.

That means children and grandchildren are not automatically entitled to any portion of their parents’ or grandparents’ estate. They receive an inheritance because parents choose to leave it to them. Inheritance lies not in the genes, but in the heart. It's all about the quality of relationship, not family ties.

Dreading that Talk with your Parents?

Today’s dreaded conversation isn’t about sex the way it was when you were a lot younger. This conversation is about parents sharing with you, their adult children, what you need to know to help them as they age.

A survey conducted by Home Instead Senior Care coined a name for this very important conversation – the 40-70 Rule. It means that children who have reached age 40 or whose parents are 70 need to start discussions about what expectations and responsibilities each will need regarding living arrangements, driving habits, health concerns and financial matters.

Surprisingly, the survey showed that death doesn't seem to be the taboo subject as much as end-of-life wishes and a parent's legacy. The most difficult discussions centered on personal hygiene and health habits, inappropriate or embarrassing behaviour, and the right time to withdraw driving privileges.

The good news from the survey is that talking about a parent's romantic life or sexual behaviour ranked dead last on the survey. Only one-third of boomers indicated any degree of discomfort with the subject. The sexual liberation they grew up is finally paying off for their parents.

For the record, I think you can’t afford to postpone this conversation until ‘the right time’. You might find out they were worried about how to approach you. My book gives clear guidelines about how to begin the conversations for parents and children.

There is no right time. There is only in time.