Saturday, August 28, 2010

Hostage to Her Husband’s Superstition


Some superstitions are harmless, like knocking on wood, carrying a rabbit’s foot or hoping that if you get on a plane with your right foot that the plane won’t crash. I do this last one myself. Silly, but harmless unlike other superstitions that are serious and affect other people. 

For example, the millions of husbands who are superstitious about estate planning and therefore, refuse to do it . Or do it partway but won’t sign all of the papers. Like Ed, whose wife Cynthia, is held hostage by his superstition.

Ed believes that if he signs the durable powers of attorney which are part of their estate plan, God is watching and will snuff him out. Because of Ed’s superstition, Cynthia won’t be able to act on his behalf if he can’t make medical or financial decisions for himself. His adult children from his first marriage will be making those decisions unless he signs the papers giving Cynthia those powers. 
“Ed signed the other papers, but still won’t sign the durable powers of attorney. He says he will, but when I remind him that the planning isn’t complete unless he does sign, he accuses me of nagging. He knows it’s not rational, but he says it makes him feel better. Even though I understand it, I feel like a hostage to his superstition.”

Why do some men believe that they are the center of the universe? That God is watching them personally, waiting for them to sign estate planning papers before bumping them off? 

Is there any difference between that kind of thinking and not walking under a ladder, wearing garlic around your neck to protect you from vampires or crossing the street when you see a black cat?

What do you think?

Hostage to Her Husband’s Superstition


Some superstitions are harmless, like knocking on wood, carrying a rabbit’s foot or hoping that if you get on a plane with your right foot that the plane won’t crash. I do this last one myself. Silly, but harmless unlike other superstitions that are serious and affect other people. 

For example, the millions of husbands who are superstitious about estate planning and therefore, refuse to do it . Or do it partway but won’t sign all of the papers. Like Ed, whose wife Cynthia, is held hostage by his superstition.

Ed believes that if he signs the durable powers of attorney which are part of their estate plan, God is watching and will snuff him out. Because of Ed’s superstition, Cynthia won’t be able to act on his behalf if he can’t make medical or financial decisions for himself. His adult children from his first marriage will be making those decisions unless he signs the papers giving Cynthia those powers. 
“Ed signed the other papers, but still won’t sign the durable powers of attorney. He says he will, but when I remind him that the planning isn’t complete unless he does sign, he accuses me of nagging. He knows it’s not rational, but he says it makes him feel better. Even though I understand it, I feel like a hostage to his superstition.”

Why do some men believe that they are the center of the universe? That God is watching them personally, waiting for them to sign estate planning papers before bumping them off? 

Is there any difference between that kind of thinking and not walking under a ladder, wearing garlic around your neck to protect you from vampires or crossing the street when you see a black cat?

What do you think?