The Womb. Your Mother. Yourself.

A few days ago, I met a mother with a beautiful, calm six-month-old baby who smiled and cooed during the three hours we spent together. I commented about her baby's temperament and was surprised when she answered "When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to cut out as much stress as I could from my life." Would that we all could be so lucky.

The cover story of this week's Time Magazine describes a new area of scientific research called fetal origins, the study of the environment inside the womb before a baby is born.http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2020815,00.html

Scientists see evidence that genetics is only part of the equation. Intrauterine factors such as the mother's stress level, nutrition, emotions and physical environment contribute as much to her baby's life-long temperament and health as its DNA. 

I suspect that, as the science of fetal origins unfolds, we will have a new wave of mothers blaming themselves for things beyond their control. Eating right, keeping their weight in check, and not drinking or smoke won't do it. They will also have to think good thoughts, lest negative emotions produce chemical substances that can harm the fetus. What a huge responsibility!

On the other hand, it could be liberating to think that the best parental intentions after birth didn't stand a chance in the first place

Any Father, Any Daughter

Robert Schimmel, 60, comedian and frequent guest of Howard Stern and Conan O'Brien, died in a Phoenix hospital after suffering serious injuries in a car accident last night.

Schimmel was a passenger Thursday in a car driven by his 19-year-old daughter Aliyah, who swerved to avoid another car. The vehicle she was driving rolled to the side of the freeway. Aliyah is in the hospital in stable condition. Hopefully, she will recover from her physical injuries. Her emotional injuries will take longer. 

We'll never know what kind of a conversation father and daughter might have been having. They could have been arguing. Or laughing. Or planning something; normal,  activities we do everyday with our family. She could have been talking on her cell, responding to a text or an instant message. 

Robert Schimmel could be any father. Aliyah could be any daughter. In the dailiness of life, death can happen to any of us, anytime, but we assume it won't. If we plan an event, we expect to be there. If we part in anger, we take it for granted that we can set it right. Later.

But not always. Life is random, perhaps just luck that our heart beats insteads of stops, that our breath is followed by another, that we will get the chance to set things right before someone we love dies.

Living is filled with ordinary moments. But not always.